I've mentioned here and there that it's only me and my younger brother here, and that he started working and earning his own money few months back. I also mentioned that he only shows up to sleep/days off from work. Of course, being a financial nerd that I am, I lectured him about the importance of saving and investing and all that finance stuff. I wanted him to contribute, he volunteered that he will regularly send money to my Mama in Albay ( Php 1,000 every month.) I was happy about that. Last month, I required him to buy rice as a form of contribution in our own house (I don't eat rice if he isn't around, so I thought that it'll be a good idea to ask for something he regularly uses/eats.) And so he bought 10 kilos of rice few weeks back ( that'll probably last us 2 months.) For me, it wasn't really a necessity that he should be shouldering the rice, I just want him to contribute- something I could taste once in a while. Besides, I shoulder all the household bills, and he only spends Php 1,200 for his "responsibility"(mama's monthly stipend and the rice) out of his Php 12,000 monthly salary.
When he started contributing, I noticed him not doing household chores. Like every time I let him do something, he gives me this I-don't-want-to-do-that look. I cut him slack here and there, telling myself that he is young and that attitude will pass, blah blah blah. Look, I get that he is tired from work, but since he is living in this house, he should do household chores, I think. He can't just go home, sleep, play Clash of Clans and leave and expect me to pick up after him. NO FREAKIN' WAY!
Yesterday, I asked him to collect the sand and put it in front of the house since the Home Owner's Association asked me to clear it all out coz they are going to put up playground soon. Aba, dinabugan ba naman ako! My blood started to rise and told him: "So, you just make this house some kind of a rest house? You are living in this house, not renting so I expect you to do household chores! Heck, I don't even let you wash the dishes and now you are giving me that shit?!" Of course, it was all in bisaya. He continued to talk back and told him: " Fine, if you don't like household chores in this house, then you are free to leave. Let's see if you can make it out there. I can survive without your rice contribution, you know? And if you don't stop talking back, pick up all your things and leave. NOW!" He shut up, went out and started shoveling the sand.
I meant to put his entitlement drama to ashes and I hope I did.
Am I being too harsh on my younger brother?
I don't think harsh yung ginawa mo. Tama lang na malaman nya na hindi ka tagalinis at tagaligpit ng kalat sa house, na need nyang kumilos din. Siguro di pa nya maunawaan yun for now kasi nga bata pa sya but give him time to reflect. At naniniwala akong walang gulo na hindi naayos kapag pinag-uusapan. :)
ReplyDeleteAi sus, okay na kami. at the end of the day, we are in good terms na. When you live with someone in the same roof, di talaga maiiwasan ang conflict, right?
DeleteDid he stop doing chores when he's been making his contributions?
ReplyDeleteThough I think since wala naman kayong househelp sa bahay, he should know na every move he makes, he has to clean up. Though I think you can also have a talk about what you want to be done sa bahay so he also gets to understand his share of chores :)
Yah, he basically did.Before, after we eat, I don't have to tell him to wash the dishes coz he wash the dishes right away, things like that. I don't want to boss him around that's why I really don't like ordering him to do this and that around. Dapat initiative na nia na kumilos, diba? Pero okay naman kami at the end of the day. Di talaga ma iiwasan ang conflict pag when you are living with someone else, diba?
DeleteNatural naman siguro sa magkapatid ang magkaconflict. Pero diba, mabilis lang mawala ang sama ng loob, kasi nga kapatid, at least in our case. Lalo na kung maliit na bagay lang pinag awayan.
ReplyDeleteFrom time to time, may mga nakikitira sa bahay namin, my relatives or my husband's. I'm not that strict when it comes to household chores. Isa lang talaga rule ko, bawal magpapasok ng boyfriend/girlfriend/barkada without my consent.
yah, by the end of the afternooon, okay na kami. hehe. Maliit na bagay naman kasi iyon eh.
DeleteYah, yan din ang rule ko, okay lang naman bumisita ang mga bf/gf basta nandyan ako and no overnight staying sa bahay.
I don't think you were harsh. At the end of the day, we all need to learn about pitching in. Sometimes I ask myself if it is a problem of Filipino culture?
ReplyDeleteyah, I think it is some kind of a problem talaga in our culture.
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