As embarrassing as it is, I must admit that my mother has some kind of an envious nature. Case in point, when she saw her neighbor's new 50 inch flat screen TV, she wants one too! She begged me for it like you wouldn't believe! Of course, I said NO! I told her my sacrifices(the usual litany in detail of all that I have been doing just to save a penny), and how she should be thankful that in the subdivision we're in, only 2 houses were fully paid- one is ours and the other one is owned by an American. She kept on bugging me, and I kept on saying no.
Fellow OFWs, we should say the "N" word often. We can't be a genie that grants our family's each and every request! When you say YES all the time , you are giving them impression that life abroad is a paradise, that it's raining money here. Don't give in to their guilt-trip. Just say NO and you will get use to it, I swear! Take it from me, I said NO to them many times and I am used to all their "kuripot" label they're throwing at me.
By saying "NO" often, believe that we are teaching our family back home a lesson, that you are breaking the cycle of financial dependency in your family.
I know, when you say NO, you will think that they will think that, "Ay, nag aabroad pero wala naman palang pera." So what if they'll think that you are a failure because you cant seem to provide? I'd rather they think I am a failure than trying to impress them that life abroad is great and all, coz I know that it's not.
By saying NO most of the time to my family's wants and whims, I know that I'm beginning to end the cycle of financial dependency that has plague my family ever since I can remember. It ends with me.
It's good that your mother somehow got the lesson when she saw the tv being repossessed. Galing mo to say no every time your family wants something that's not a necessity, ha! It takes a certain degree of courage and discipline to do that. Yung mom ko magaling din manghingi ng kung anu-ano sa mga anak, dinadaan sa lambing. :)
ReplyDeleteOk namn mag bigay to mama esp if daanin sa lambig! My situation kasi, ako lahat so off limits muna sa mga wants ng family ko. hehe
DeleteHi Maria, I totally agree with you 100%. If we are saying YES to everything they ask we are becoming part of the problem. We became the enabler, we are enabling them to rely on us and not to stand on their own feet. Who cares what other people think of us right? The important thing is that we are doing what is right even if it means saying NO.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, I am really pass the stage of caring what people think of me. To heck if they think that I don't have money. I know the truth so I am cool with that.
DeleteOnce again, namangha na naman ako sa iyo :)
ReplyDeleteYour family hasn't realized it yet, but you're actually doing them a favor by cutting that culture of dependence.
Ay, hopefully they really, really understand, Ate Jill. Sometimes I feel like they never will get why I don't give them more than they need.
DeleteSakit ng pinsan ko to eh.. she says No at first, pero malalaman na lang namen, binilhan nya ren nga ganito si kwan, binigyan nya ng pera si ayun... Tsk tsk
ReplyDeletehttps://supahlalove.blogspot.com
Baka biglang napa isip ang pinsan mo na "needed" talaga ang kanilang hinihingi?
DeleteSometimes naman, ma gi-guilty kaming mga OFW but we have to toughen our guts or we will end up walang savings.
Whew! Nakarelate ako dito Ms. Maria. I always say NO to my family kapag humihingi sila ng extra aside sa monthly na pinapadala ko. Pero madalas din na I feel guilty kaya I end up giving in. Sobrang hirap tumanggi pero ang hirap din naman magbigay ng magbigay. But I always tell them na hindi madali ang buhay abroad especially that I already have my own family here abroad. And I don't post anything "paimpress" or anything na makikita nila na madali ang buhay dito on facebook. By the way I am so happy for you that you are finally going home for good. I really admire your self discipline and determination to achieve your goals. Salute! Uuwi din ako samin 2weeks from now and ngayon pa lang kinakabahan na ko. I was able to save almost 200k within 2yrs of hardwork at kinakabahan ako na bgla nalang maubos sa 21days na pagstay ko sa pinas. Kaya napabalik ako sa blog mo to get some ideas on how to not overspend lalo na pag nasa pinas. Hehe! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, brilliant ideas and knowledge about saving and investing! Really helpful for us! Keep us posted on your next plans please. Take care! :)
ReplyDeleteHey, Rosalyn
ReplyDeleteWow! Impressive! 200k in two years? Impressive talaga! Congrats!
Magpapasko ka pala sa Pilipinas? Congrats again! Dont be so kabahan with all their "requests", just say no. I know it's easier said than done but as an OFW, we should say NO often, otherwise, hindi tayo ma re-reach ang goal natin. It's either we give or we say no. I'd rather say NO often to their requests with matching sermon, para naman they'll get use to it na I won't give talaga. It's kinda working for me, by the way.
Thanks, Rosalyn. Baka magka bump tayo sa airport! ang saya! :)