Thursday, October 10, 2013

Filipino Crab Mentality: My Fair Share

I still remember an ABS-CBN commercial long time ago  about a bucket of crabs wanting to escape but can't coz the the one from the bottom tries to pull the crab that's on top. The advertisement then showed that what if they'll rock the bucket back and forth together, they have a great chance of escaping.

People who have crab mentality attitude are all around us. We all go through this,  the gossip and backstabbing one way or the other. Cutting that kind of people in our lives proves to be a great solution.

Crab mentality is such a filipino trait that we hear that two words at our very young age. As the famous saying goes, "we all like to see our friends get ahead, but not too far ahead.” This is such a negative attitude and this, I think, is one of the reasons we remain poor. "Ay, she has a new car and a house, I bet she has a sugar daddy"

I was a victim of this not too long ago and I have no choice but to cut ties with them. And what hurts me the most are they are my relatives, a grandmother (sister of my mom's mom). I can't believe someone that old   can hurt someone who is 40 years younger than her. 'Diba, we should celebrate someone's success? Why are pulling them down? Why are jumping into conclusions without even knowing the whole story?

One day, my mother messaged me. She said to call right away. I called and she was crying, she told me that my grandmother was spreading rumors and confronted her that that's why I can afford to send my two nieces to a private school, put my brother to a drug rehab center, support my grandfather, mom and my brother, who is attending college at the moment, and bought a house and lot because I have an old guy who have been supporting me- in short, I have a sugar daddy! I was so pissed! SERIOUSLY?! THE NERVE TO SAY THAT? SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING TO SAVE MONEY! SHE DOESN'T KNOW I ATE INSTANT NOODLES MOST OF THE TIME  TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD ALL THAT! NOT TO MENTION THE MILES I WALKED JUST TO SAVE A $1.50 BUS FARE! THE NERVE! GRRRRRR. SHE KNOWS NOTHING AT ALL.

One of the dumbest thing I did was to post my whole ordeal in my Facebook status *facepalm*..Ultimate facepalm! Triple ultimate facepalm. I cringed when I looked back at that whole ordeal, I should have remained calm and not post stupid statuses like that for whole people to see! Gosh, but one thing that I think I did right was to cut ties and block that backstabber in my life. No nega people please!

What got me thinking to this very day is why is she doing it? She is currently abroad who has lots of real state investment back home, like a lot. Maybe 20+ at different locations all throughout Cebu City. Why would she pull someone like me, a small crab with big dreams? A small crab with high hopes to pull out my family from poverty? Why? 

She alone can answer that and for now, I continue to celebrate other's success. I make them as my inspiration. I don't go on their back and stab them. 

Let's end crab mentality attitude one person at a time and make Philippines a better nation.

Photo credits: 


  1. I've been there, in a way. It can be tiresome feeling mad or trying to explain yourself. In the end, as long as you and your valued ones know the truth, you can sleep well and relax.

    Ang gulo lang kasi ng tao, minsan.

    1. I know,right? It's frustrating when all you do is mind your own business and some people around you is so nega about it. Saying something bad to someone doesn't make you any good or any better.

  2. Don't take it personally. Your grandmother just presumed you had a sugar daddy because did. That's how she aquired 20+ properties in Cebu. A lot of US military about in her day. And who knows, maybe she had more than 1 sugar d$. How else could someone of such low intellect accumilate 20+ properties?

    1. Oh my! This crack me up so bad! Maybe she did? Hhaha! I can't imagine her having sugar daddy though! It is so disturbing! Haha! She is actually a doctor in the US, I don't know why she needs to meddle in my personal affairs when she's ├╝ber-rich and accomplished na. Some people are crazy like that!

  3. Someone that old ( 40 years older than you ) still working as a doctor ?? Hard to believe.

  4. I lost contact with her since I was 13, that was when I transferred to our province to live with my paternal grandmother. We just reconnected through Facebook few years ago. I really don't know her exact age but I assumed she was 40 years older than me. When my maternal grandmother died , I was 13 and she was 50-ish. Her sister, the one that I mentioned, was a little bit older than her. You do the math.

    It is a complicated story. In fact, it's not just me who receives some "backbite" from her. A typical filipino character. Older or younger, rich or poor, we all partake in that poisonous mentality. We think we are better than them because we talk bad about them.

    Oh well, right? I don't want to cloud my mind with thoughts of her or talk bad about her. Otherwise, what's the difference between me and her? I am changing my family tree,man. Instead of overanalyzing the whole situation, I just let it be. God knows the whole story. He can judge.

    All I know is her situation is kind of like a motivation coz I don't want to be like her. Greedy without even thinking that we are all going to die.


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