Hey y'all! I haven't been blogging for a quiet a while now. Too many things happen in my personal life since I last posted. I will surely keep up with e-mails and comments, promise!
Here's an update for now:
- I NEED A JOB- just to keep my sanity in check. Gosh, so this is how retirement probably feels like (not the type of retirement with all those moolah in the bank ha? Yung retirement na nagtitipid pa rin coz you know that if you splurge too much all day errday, you'll end up broke sooner rather than later.) I have been working and making my own money since I was 21 ( and hey, I just celebrated my 29th birthday last April 25, by the way) and now, naka tambay lang ako... well, there is construction going on and 2 Golden Retrievers that keep me busy everyday, but it's not the same when you go out of the house, all dress up for work ready to take on whatever work stuff for the day... Gosh, I miss those. Naprapraning na ako sa bahay- I can't go out everyday naman coz I can't be spending my money left and right, you know. I am still cheap, that I can assure you.
- On the bright side: that line I used to post here, this: I-want-to-work-not-because-I-have-to-but-because-I want-to line para I think I am in that stage na, but still... I need work just to keep me sane.
- House construction is still going on.
- I kicked my older brother out of the house. You know, the brother I sent to rehab. So I found out that he still injects himself with Nubain ( since I saw the drug paraphernalia, I 'googled' it and that's how I found out what it's called.) Since it's my house and it's my rules- plus all the things I did for him and his family through the years- I kicked him out, and that's how the family drama got started. My second older brother came to Cebu to take my Mom with him to Albay coz we found out that my Mom has been secretly meeting my druggie brother. Instead of teaching him a lesson, she is enabling him. He is 35, for goodness sake, he is an adult, he surely can take care of himself! So my other Kuya and I decided that it would be best for all of us that Mama should be in Albay. Too many things happen, and this cost me a great deal of emotional stress. If you are a long time follower of my blog, you would have known that one of my greatest ambition was to make my family whole again coz we haven't been in one roof for over 13 years. Sadly, we are all adults with different experiences and different way of thinking and I can't make that dream of mine happen. It's sad but things happen for a reason, I guess.
- This house that I am currently living is too big for me and my younger brother. I'm thinking of renting this out and then moving to the lot I owned in Consolacion. I will occupy the 40 sqm or less to my 80 sqm that I owned. My brother said he will try and be independent and find himself a place to live when he gets stable with his job.
- I am so, so in love with my Stark and Pepper, my two golden retrievers though I still miss Ganni every single day.
I can already take them for a walk around the subdivision. I kept them quarantined inside the house while they were in the process of completing all their shots because I don't want them to end up catching viruses. I can't take another heartbreak.
- I got so pissed with people who run away whenever they see Stark and Pepper coming. Like I can roll my eyes and punch them on their faces. So ignoramus people here, "ummm... hello, they are Golden Retrievers, one of the friendliest breed of dogs out there. They are huge but they don't bite. I suggest you pet a Chihuahua and you'll know what I mean.
- I am still on the process of deciding to buy a car or not, to go used or brand new. Nope, I didn't buy a car yet. Delayed gratification right there, ain't it?
- I still go to the wet market to get my food for the week. I'll try and update the "What did I buy Sunday."
- I'm still thankful that I made a decision to come home for good. Sure, I don't go out much often or go to any fancy places but I sure did not regret coming home. Life here is great. The house that I currently live is paid for, I can pay my own bills, shop my own food, though I still need to follow a budget making sure I don't splurge here and there, but hey I'm used to that as you probably know by now, and frugality is a long-time friend of mine so sticking to a budget is a game I long perfected, though it surely helps that I am single.
Ciao for now.
Hi Maria, very nice looking dogs you got there! Im glad you're back updating your blog, mukhang bising busy.
ReplyDeleteI hope whatever issues your family are having right now will be resolved. Lahat naman ng pamilya may kani kanilang problema and we cant give up on family.
Ingat!
Hey,
DeleteYah, they are family but bro is too much for me. he has been throwing, texting, posting death threats. Super talaga ang pinagdaan ko dito. Talagan I reported him to the police. Yup, he is still a family and sometimes I feel bad but I look back and think of all the times I saved him and his family, how I helped him, even bought a passenger type of jeep for him recently but still, he is disrespectful and abusive. Enough is enough, I told myself. I can't be saving him all his life. I have my own life to live and I think I done my part but he wasted it all.
Aloha Maria, I found your blog when I was looking for Filipina bloggers (I'm half-American on my dad's side and half-Cebuana on mom's side). Anyway...I'll tell you the same thing I told my mom with regards to her "I expect you to support me/us because you married a foreigner and that is your duty to blood" relatives: blood may be thicker than water, but water is a life force. You can replicate blood in a lab, but water cannot ever be replicated. Once it's gone, it's gone. In this case, water is your self-worth. You have to love yourself first because at the end of the day, you are the only person who has your back 100% of the time. Your brother has to nut up and your mom has to start making excuses for him. Yes, he's vulnerable and poor and troubled, and a mother's instinct is to protect her child. But you're her child, too, and you deserve to be protected. He chose to be a victim and you chose to be a survivor. Chin up!
ReplyDeleteAwwwww, that's a nice message! This truly made my day.
DeleteYah, it's time for me to think of myself. I have been putting myself last for the longest time, making sure to put my family and my "responsibilities" to them first. Yep, they are still family but I gave up almost all my happiness for them, I think it's time to do things that makes me happy. When family drama started and I kicked my brother out, he told me how "I've changed because I have money" which I answered that: I am freaking 29 years old and I didn't even think of marriage all because I have a family to save. When I think of it, I really don't have any responsibility to them. I am doing it all to help them. Weird part of our culture, right?
Hi Girl,
DeleteYour avid fan here. Normally, yan ang nangyayari.. I experienced that too . Ung pagsabihan ka "nagbago ka na dahil my pera na " not from my family side" but sa side ng hubby ko.. worst is, sometimes they'll tell you na money ang center ng buhay ko. faet ng life.. but i' learned to move it ang ignore them as if di sila nag e-exist. I know myself better than them...my desire to help my family side and to secure the future of my daughter ay tanda ng pagmamahal. Sacrifice ay simbolo ng tunay na pagmamahal, un daw ang pinaka-pure na love.
Hello PinasforGood! :)
ReplyDeleteSa wakas naay update. Hehehe.. This is your blog follower, Ching. I'm sad on what happened sa imo na family. But, look into the bright side. God is truly amazing, why? Imagine if wala ka niuli for good, you won't find out ang real situation sa inyo na balay. Pero, I'm scared sa imo gi-share na death threats from your older brother. Tsk tsk tsk.. I hope everything will be fixed soon, in a peaceful and loving way.
Take care.
Hey Ching,
DeleteHow are you doing? Busy ka for sure sa mga stock trading. hehe
Yah, I was scared at first sa mga death threats nia. I even hired a security guard for a month for night time coz I couldn't sleep. All is calm now, I thank God
Hahaha.. i'm not busy with stock trading woi. Busy sa work kay wala nay pang-invest.. mingaw man rong panahuna, wala kaayo positive / all time high movement sa ako stocks unlike the previous months..hehe...
DeleteGrabeh jud diay noh, kay nakakuha gud ka security guard... but, good to know na nag-stop na and most importantly maka-sleep naka ug tarong.. i hope continuous na... i'm looking forward nah sa imo future posts.. hahaha...
Ching
Hello Maria!
ReplyDeleteNice to hear updates about you! but very sad to hear about your brother. We also have issues with our family..hang in tight there :) maybe it is best if you have filed for protection order (if you have not yet) so he won't be allowed to go near you, otherwise, ikukulong siya. and he cannot also contact you by any means too (FB, txt, etc).Sometimes we have to practice "tough love" and sadly mahirap ito for some mothers. I hope your mom is safe and will not be bothered much by your brother.
Stay safe sis and update us from time to time. Love your dogs! God bless :) --kath
Hey Kath,
DeleteYah, talagang naka Protection Order ako sis tska plano ko talaga na mag file ako ng kaso para if ever mag attempt siya mag go near, priso talaga. Tough love indeed
Yep, Stark and Pepper keep me sane these days. :)
Naku Ms. Maria, kelangan mo na nga ng job para malibang ka, mahirap pag may family problem, emotionally torture ka inside, been there too but I know your a tough girl, kaya mo yan.
ReplyDeleteI know, right? just to keep me busy talaga.
DeleteTake care, girl!
Why don't you try to work (apply) at BPO's, you seems so good in English. I'm sure you'll get it because you have an accent that usually Call Center Companies needed. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm thinking too but darn, that night shift thing.. I'm all over that na! I dont know if there is morning schedule ha, but me no likey likey being up and working at night- that WAS me while working abroad. I love my early sleeping time which is 8-9pm. Tumatanda na, I know.
DeleteSana ako din.
ReplyDeleteSana nandun na ako sa mentality na "I-want-to-work-not-because-I-have-to-but-because-I want-to"...... =)
You will get there eventually! :)
DeleteJoining the conversation here and sharing my thoughts about cars. If you would buy a car, I can attest that there's nothing wrong with used car as long as you buy a quality used car.
ReplyDeleteI've been driving in Canada for two years and I save a lot from gas, insurance (low premium for old car, mine is Honda Civic) and time. It is convenient to have a car overseas since it's the only way to get to work when public transportation is not available. And it saves a lot of TIME. 1 hour commute = 15 min driving without traffic. The money I save with used car is invested or save for a house.
Hoping that all will be well for your family!