Sunday, February 3, 2019

Losing Pepper

The pain is so paralyzing. I can't sleep. I haven't eaten in almost 30 hours. I'm just crying and crying.

The guilt-feeling is what's eating me.I could have done more. 

But Stark needs me now. I must remain strong for him. People say I shouldn't change Stark's routine and I have been doing that. 

My eyes are swollen, but I decided to still I attend my classes. Many of my students are dog lovers and it's nice to connect with them. One of the things I appreciate is they don't ask me the details of what happened. Words like "I understand how you're feeling" and "Take care" are what they always tell me. Those words are enough for me. 

Pepper Potts a so-so much, 

See you at the Rainbow Bridge when my time comes, Baby Girl. Please say hi to Ganni Bear for me. I miss both of you so much. You are always going to be my Princess and losing you is soooo hard for me. Please visit me in my dreams. I need you and I miss you.




  1. I understand how you feel. As someone who has been taking care of dogs since I was a kid losing them the pain is so severe. Last 2011 my favorite golden retriever passed away & I was so affected that I did not go 2 work for more than a week. I didnt care if they kick me out of da company I was crying for days. Luckily my Superior understood because she has been at my house & knew how much I love my dogs.

    I promise you it will get better you just need time. So sorry for your loss.


    1. Hi Gian! Thanks for this. Time has been so slow for me. I remember how long it took for me to recover from Ganni's death (two weeks) and how long it took for me to recover from Kevin's disappearance (3 days). Kevin is a stray dog that I have been feeding for over a year. I've heard he was taken by the pound and I searched for him all over my city, but I couldn't find him. So I wonder how long it will take for me to feel better and to function well. My muscle aches and I feel cold all the time and I think I am on a brink of depression. But Stark keeps me going. People might say "it's just a dog" and I'm sure you got that comment too but they just don't understand. It sucks. This has been the most depressing moment of my life, even though I have been through a lot, including betrayal from my family and losing my dad at such a young age.

  2. I know it seems like you feel you wont get over Pepper's death that its too much for you 2 handle but you will recover in time. Alam ko there were people that did not understand why I was MIA at work when to them it was only a dog. I would have punch them if they said that to me in my face outloud. Im sorry about everything. Mejo updated me sa family situation mo coz Ive been reading your blog for the past 2 years I think. First time ko lang mag leave ng comment because I know how devastating it feels na mawalan ng beloved pet/companion/family member. You may want to talk 2 a trusted friend. Hey if you're living in Manila I would have talk 2 you �� Things will get better for you I promise but for the mean time just keep on fighting. Do not let depression sets in or consumes you.



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