Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Coping with Losing Pepper 2.0

I am still not okay.

Nights are the worst. 

The thing is I can’t sleep.

For the first time since I started teaching online, I worked for 13 hours with only 1 hour of rest for two days but I still couldn’t sleep. 

So I sought for a psychiatrist's advise and  I’m taking antidepressants for now. I want to stop it because it makes me groggy, but it is helping me sleep. 

Though I am in this state, Stark’s routine is still the same: I take him for a walk at 4:45 AM and 9 PM, ALWAYS. It would have been worse for me if Stark isn’t around so I owe it to him to act normal.

A tattoo

It was so weird because of all the songs that were being played at that time, mostly new ones, the moment my tattoo artist inked me, Sweet Child of Mine played. I used to sing that  to her many times. Most of the time, I replaced the lyrics with her name: oooh,oh wo hoo Sweet Pep of Mine... Do you do that with your pet?

Pep Wars
Oh, the weather outside is Pepper but the song is so aPepper
Pepper, do you love me? Are you riding?
Adto ta sa IT Pep? 
Fat bottomed Pep ,you make the rockin' world go 'round

Gosh, I miss her so badly.
I still can’t bring myself to wash my sheets.
I have been watching tons of videos about moving on after pet’s death and the afterlife.
I still can’t bring myself to look at her picture.
I wonder when will I be okay. 

I miss you, baby girl. Death isn’t such a bad thing because I believe that I’m going to see you on the other side. See you at the rainbow bridge, my princess. I’m suffering still but I’ll be okay. 

1 comment:

  1. It took me a long while to get over the loss of my dog. It's only now that the family got a new pet and one time I caught myself referring to the new pet with my late dog's name.

    I'm also taking antidepressants. But for different reasons. I hope you get better soon. Do it for Stark, do it for you. Hugsies (kahit di tayo close).


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