Friday, January 11, 2019

Am I a Bad Person for Not Wanting to Contact My Family?

I’m always open to my struggles, just so my readers know that life ain’t perfect for me here in the Philippines.

Is it me or am I just not your typical Filipino? (Living alone with two dogs, not wanting to settle down and don't want to have contact with my family. SO NOT FILIPINO, right? ) 

Here are my reasons for not wanting to get in touch with my family, both immediate and extended. ( Take note "not wanting" is used here, though I still "reluctantly" meet with them.) : 

  • I want to hang out with my cousins and aunts, but they expect me to pay for everything.
On several occasions, I invited my aunts just to hang out and treat them to a special restaurant, nag dala pa naman ng ibang tao. Ugh, I wanted to have intimate conversation sana. May time for big family gathering and may time din for intimate, one-on-one conversations. 

Note:I don't have the balls to say "KKB tayo". I should, right? Though I always treat my aunts, but I don't want to treat my cousins. May trabaho naman sila eh. 

  • I want to call my Lola, but she always guilt-tripping me to forgive my evil brother or to get married. La, the wound is still fresh. Someday, I will be able to forgive but not now.

  • I want to call my mother often, but all she do is complain and ask for more money.

  • I want to hang out with my younger brother even more, but I can sense that he would rather do something than hang out with his ate whom she never even grow up with. 

Though I have good relationship with my second eldest brother. He lives in Taiwan now but we constantly contact each other via Viber. He even sent me an Adidas Superstar for my birthday! I felt super kilig! So that’s how it feels like when a family member gives you something from abroad! Hahah!

I know, family is important but I think I have the most dysfunctional family in the Philippines. Dogs won't betray us, but people do.

Netflix and Chill with my baby

At Mactan Newtown


  1. No, You're not a bad person. You find peace and comfort living alone with your babies. You're too independent also. You don't want to depend on others and you don't want others to Depend on you. Been reading your blog for two years now. I admire your simplicity and discipline in handling your finances. Been looking forward to your new entries.God bless you.

  2. Thanks for writing this, because now I realized that I'm not alone. I have the same concerns especially about the "libre" part. Of course, I would love to go home and spend time with my family but they expect me to pay every time as if I earn hundreds of thousands a month abroad. They don't quite understand my desire of saving up.

  3. Parang typical na talaga sa ugali ng pamilyang pinoy yang manghingi ng pera or manghihiram tapos di na nila babayaran. Tapos kapag di ka nagbigay sasabihan ka ng kuripot or madamot. LOL. Nung una e nasasaktan ako kapag ganun sila saken but na realized ko na di ko nman sila maipepleased na ilike ako or what. Di naman kasi lahat ng sagot sa problem nila e ihelp mo is pera. Of course they have to learn from their pain kasi dun talaga sila mag gain ng learning on how to spend their money. Anyhow, darating din kayo sa point ng family mo na magiging okay din ang lahat basta ipagpray mo lang yun every day.

  4. I don't think so. I was vocal to my family about this same issue and that made them think and change. Sometimes we have to speak our mind. Be straightforward in a good way.

    My mom already know how to use my old phone and keep updating me whether somebody get sick, die, and even any good news. Well of course, we also talk about remittance for their medicine expenses because their pension isn't enough.

    What I learn is to stay true to what I value which is time with families. As early as now I told them that I'm on a strict budget so I wouldn't splurge on my vacation except for few travels that I also value other than saving and investing.

    So chill and keep on watching Netflix with your furry dog. Downton Abbey is great British series if your interested with period drama with a lot of humour and sarcasm.

    Speaking of Netflix, maybe you can share with us your favourite shows in future posts. :-)

  5. where's the other dog?

    1. This made me smile. Thanks for asking. Pepper is okay. She isn't the kind of dog which loves to hug all the time. She is very independent and my male dog is the clinger type. In fact, yung babae kong GR can't even sit still sa mga selfie pics. Very active kind and the male GR is the momma's boy kind. :)

    2. thank God. I was worried something happened to her. happy to know they're both doing well and hope you are too Maria. :)

  6. I agree with your sentiments.

    And the sad thing, you are the bad person/daughter/sister/child/ if you have different perspective than the Filipino norms.

    Our neighbors are mocking us for leaving alone our aging mom at home. Of course, she has someone with her whom we employ to look after her day to day activities and needs.

    But we are considered the bad children. The ingrata.

    Of course, we have valid reasons too why we need to be away. It's a choice out of need.

    By why our neighbors care?

    Why Westerners when they leave their parents in retirement, it is okay. And if we do that, we are the most evil children on earth in Filipino culture. LOL!

    1. You are right about that, Ms. Mai. We have our own personal reasons why we do such things and trying to explain ourselves every time is a losing battle. Might as well just let them be. The neighbors are not feeding us so their opinions don't matter.


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